This is reposted from a myspace blog entry, but I feel very strongly about this issue, and believe it's something that needs to be brought to light.
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For those of you that read the title of this blog and clicked the link under the misguided view that you would be getting some dirt, some mudslinging, or perhaps creamed corn wrestling, turn back now. This is not the blog for you. These are not the bitches you are looking for.
Friends, there comes a time in a man's life when he realizes that in order to emerge from the effluvium of apathy that so often permeates our society, he (or she, if that man is in fact a woman. No chauvanism in THIS blog) must champion a cause. And indeed, I have found my cause.
For far too long, women have suffered the indignity of this singularly offensive term. No, I'm not talking about slag. Or stewardess. Or jug toter.* No, the word that reduces a woman's strength to a negative act is bitch. Too long my strong black (and miscellaneous) sisters have suffered at the hands of this word! Too long I say!
History shows us though that the best way to take the sting from a word is to change its meaning. Gay once meant happy. Now it means gay. I propose, my sisters, that we take back bitch. Yes, let's get the bitch back!
Now, the first order of business is to come up with an alternate meaning that's so catchy and prevalent it will supercede the current nasty intentions entirely. Some of you might be thinking, "Well bitch does already have a proper and inoffensive meaning," but those bitches aren't good enough. No, we need better bitches. Bitches that will roll off the tongue. Bitches that will stick.
For this reason, I suggest we make bitch into a unit of measure. No one will remember that bitch was an insult when they're thirsty for a bitch of soda. Out of eggs? Honey, can you go to the store and pick up a bitchload? Hey bitch, get me a bitch of beer!
Now, I know you're excited and just raring to go out and spread these bitches around, but before you unleash the bitch, I think it prudent that we establish what exactly constitutes a bitch. Otherwise you may as well be using kelvin, microns, or liters, or something dumb that no one knows what it means.
Therefore, for the greatest possible saturation, I suggest we use the most basic measure of liquid. The 32 ouncer. From this day on, this is our bitch.**
This I cannot reclaim this bitch alone my friends. It will take all of us together to spread this new bitch, until the old bitch finally dies. Go on, make me proud, bitches.
*But these are also good ones.
**A bitchload, in case you were wondering should be about a half rack.
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Want your image immortalized for posterity? Need something special to let your lover know exactly what you're thinking right now, without words? Want to see your hidden alter ego given form? Just like the words above and want to ensure there are more of them gathered together in harmony thusly in the future? Turn your blurry cellphone pic into a work of beauty. Commission a portrait today, by contacting Tony Wallace for a quote. Beauty shots, alter egos and boudoir paintings available. Extremely low rates and fast turnover.
-------------------------------------------------
For those of you that read the title of this blog and clicked the link under the misguided view that you would be getting some dirt, some mudslinging, or perhaps creamed corn wrestling, turn back now. This is not the blog for you. These are not the bitches you are looking for.
Friends, there comes a time in a man's life when he realizes that in order to emerge from the effluvium of apathy that so often permeates our society, he (or she, if that man is in fact a woman. No chauvanism in THIS blog) must champion a cause. And indeed, I have found my cause.
For far too long, women have suffered the indignity of this singularly offensive term. No, I'm not talking about slag. Or stewardess. Or jug toter.* No, the word that reduces a woman's strength to a negative act is bitch. Too long my strong black (and miscellaneous) sisters have suffered at the hands of this word! Too long I say!
History shows us though that the best way to take the sting from a word is to change its meaning. Gay once meant happy. Now it means gay. I propose, my sisters, that we take back bitch. Yes, let's get the bitch back!
Now, the first order of business is to come up with an alternate meaning that's so catchy and prevalent it will supercede the current nasty intentions entirely. Some of you might be thinking, "Well bitch does already have a proper and inoffensive meaning," but those bitches aren't good enough. No, we need better bitches. Bitches that will roll off the tongue. Bitches that will stick.
For this reason, I suggest we make bitch into a unit of measure. No one will remember that bitch was an insult when they're thirsty for a bitch of soda. Out of eggs? Honey, can you go to the store and pick up a bitchload? Hey bitch, get me a bitch of beer!
Now, I know you're excited and just raring to go out and spread these bitches around, but before you unleash the bitch, I think it prudent that we establish what exactly constitutes a bitch. Otherwise you may as well be using kelvin, microns, or liters, or something dumb that no one knows what it means.
Therefore, for the greatest possible saturation, I suggest we use the most basic measure of liquid. The 32 ouncer. From this day on, this is our bitch.**
This I cannot reclaim this bitch alone my friends. It will take all of us together to spread this new bitch, until the old bitch finally dies. Go on, make me proud, bitches.
*But these are also good ones.
**A bitchload, in case you were wondering should be about a half rack.
==============================
Want your image immortalized for posterity? Need something special to let your lover know exactly what you're thinking right now, without words? Want to see your hidden alter ego given form? Just like the words above and want to ensure there are more of them gathered together in harmony thusly in the future? Turn your blurry cellphone pic into a work of beauty. Commission a portrait today, by contacting Tony Wallace for a quote. Beauty shots, alter egos and boudoir paintings available. Extremely low rates and fast turnover.
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